I have been reading Eric Metaxas' book: Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Prophet, Martyr, spy, and have been deep in my own thoughts on the theology of self.
As I was on my way to the dump this morning I was mulling over the difference between self-ish-ness and self-less-ness. I realized that many thing I do are done from selfish motives as opposed to selfless motives. Yet on the surface I feel that I am motivated by selfless behaviour.
So what is it that makes an act self-less? That is the deep theological question, at least for me. And I am sure will not be answered within the context of this post. For example, I do many good things that the Scriptures state should be done. Yet...am I emptying myself at the altar of GOD, or am I looking to feel good about having done what is naturally expected of me as it relates to Scripture? If I am doing the latter, that then is a selfish act. As it is done to make me feel good and accomplish what I perceive to be something "that should be done".
It is a deep question that I have been focusing on in light of suffering. For example: Would I be willing to leave every comfort that I have to go where I have no wish to be in order to fulfill the will of GOD no matter the cost. That is an emptying of self. Conversly, would I stay right where I am, even if I wished to be elsewhere in order to speak to the needs of a people, thus fulfilling the will of God? Jesus showed us this clearly in and through the cross. Paul paints a beautiful picture of that act in the second chapter of Philippians.
Am I willing to step out and suffer loss for someone I may not even know? Can I empty myself to the point that all that matters is undying obedience to the one who calls me?
Thoughts?
May God, who spared not his Son shine graciously upon you today.
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